


I'll Let You Have Him

by spicyginger911



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, O yeah James comes late in this au, Snape isn't a dick in this au BTW, Where both Snape and lily are hopeless in love with James, also sirius and Snape solidarity, cause she deserves him more and all that, lily is too good, sev let's lily have him though, so him and sev aren't rivals, this is just Snape feeling too much love for both lily and James at this point, we love a bi king
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:41:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27191210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicyginger911/pseuds/spicyginger911
Summary: Where Snape is young and hopelessly in love, yet understands one truth of this world.That truth being that Lily Potter deserves the universe. And if he could give it to her, he would.So he does.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, James Potter/Severus Snape, Sirius Black & Severus Snape
Comments: 6
Kudos: 111





	I'll Let You Have Him

Severus remembered the quelling anxiety that got bigger as he walked his way through Hogwarts floors. It was first year and they were yet to be sorted. 

He glanced to where the red headed girl stood in front, gulping when she looked back.

Lily laughed before reaching her arm out to hold Severus's, much to the annoyance of the person inbetween them. She gave a single squeeze, bright green eyes focused and calm. 'How did she do it,' Severus wondered.

"Whatever house you get sorted into, we'll still be friends!" She insisted. Severus believed her, the anxiety slowly vanishing as he managed a small smile and met her eyes.

She seemed satisfied with this, and as she gave another squeeze her name was called. She disappeared through the students.

Of course she was in Gryffindor and of course he was in Slytherin. Despite her early claims, Severus could tell she was uneasy being in different houses. 

Severus thought for sure one day, after class, she'd vanish and he'd never see her again, never speak to her again.

But she didn't. They grew up together, growing closer and closer, and while they weren't working on essays or homework, they were discussing life exactly like they did before Hogwarts, hours of endless talk, plans for the future and mistakes of the past. 

Lily would often chime in with what the 'dumb Gryffindor of the week' had done in the dormroom.

Severus laughed along. He couldn't tell Lily any stories of his dormroom. After all, they were filled with people who believed that people like Lily should disappear. Instead he told her whatever new potion discovery he was working on, telling her all the failures and duds and finally letting out all his excitement when he'd managed to get a potion working.

Lily would still mention her family, especially near the holidays or when she was destined to go back to them. Severus remembered Petunia from their youth. 

Lily told him all about how her and her sister had grown apart, how hostile they were to each other and how Petunia despised her.

Snape didn't mention his dad but somehow Lily just knew.

Whenever it got too rough for either of them - with Petunia's bullying and Snape's fathers alcohol abuse - they'd stay at the others. They weren't kids anymore and Lily was warned that staying at a guys house probably wasn't the best idea but she didn't care. Her and Snape were closer than friends, they were best friends! 

  
Their bond hadn't faded one bit by fourth year, when a certain brown haired boy had joined them. James Potter.

Severus had not found much interest in girls, especially not Lily, despite the rumors that seemed to circulate about them. However he hadn't thought much about his interest in boys until he saw James Potter.

He had scruffled brown hair that seemed to never stick down, and wore the red and black Gryffindor uniform, seeming to match with his brown eyes.

  
Severus and Lily had been walking through the corridors discussing work that day, when she'd broke off to study in the library. He'd spotted James for the first time then, across the hall from him going the other way. 

Him and James weren't alone in the corridor. James had two people on either side like bodyguards. 

Remus Lupin and Siruis Black.

Severus recognised the boys who were chatting amongst each other - although he couldn't say he'd spoken to either of them directly.

Snape looked away slightly, finding it weird how his cheeks seemed to slightly buzz when looking towards James. 

'I'm not... you know, am I?' 

It was the day after when he'd seen the Gryffindor again. Lily had been sick, so he'd had a spare desk next to him in potions class that day. Not paying attention, he was scribbling down more ideas for improved potions in his book. 

The chair besides him squeaked and Snape looked up to see the same boy from yesterday. He noticed the cheek sting come back; he'd managed to keep his mind off what happened yesterday rather well and then James had to go and mess up all his thoughts again. 

"Can I sit here?" Despite the jock look, James wore a pair of glasses, which, while not matching, almost made his eyes have a sort of sparkle to them. As Severus didn't respond, the jock gave an awkward grin, although it didn't look awkward as Severus was sure nothing could look awkward on his face. 

"Sure." He replied bluntly, not meaning to, just taken off guard. James gave a thumbs up to Siruis and Lupin who had taken up a two person table in the back row before sitting beside Severus. 

Severus tried to ignore the blush, but he soon realised, not only could he not ignore it, he actually had to respond to James as the boy had started speaking to him as soon as he sat down. 

"Those are interesting notes. What are they for?" James tilted his head slightly as Severus tried not to look up, as he was sure that would make him more flustered. Instead he softened his tone from the blunt one he was using before and responded. 

"I'm seeing if I can improve some of the less known potions by optimising them." Severus glanced up to see Jame's blank expression looking down to his notes. Severus also looked down, thinking of a way to better explain it. 

"Like... If a potion was to take two minutes to boil, I would experiment and see if I could do it in one minute."

Jame's expression stayed blank. Severus sighed. 

"Here. Let me show you." 

For the rest of the lesson, Severus experimented with the potion they were meant to be making, seeing Jame's face light up when they got one step right. 

His mouth would ask endless questions, not like Lily who would be on Severus's wavelength but like someone who barely even knew what potions were and was easily impressed with the most basic of tasks.

Severus smiled as he thought about what Jame's reaction to his finished projects would be. He couldn't wait to show him, and for the first time Severus found himself enjoying talking to a person that wasn't Lily, enjoying nerding out with him, enjoying the slight blush that spread across his face when James praised him. 

This happened for the next few lessons. As soon as Lily had recovered, she'd been moved to a higher class, something Severus originally would have been sad or even jealous over but now he was just pleased that he was enjoying himself with James. 

  
It was almost a month when Severus had dealt back. James had complimented his (clean for once) hair and Severus froze, slowly smiling before complimenting James wind blown and messed up hair. 

James paused for a second, caught off guard by just how genuine Severus was, before he laughed it off. But Severus didn't miss the blush that spread across his cheeks. 

  
Lily talked for hours about her new class, as Severus said nothing about James. He didn't know why he didn't tell her, they weren't a secret, plus they were just friends, Lily would be pleased about Severus' friendship. 

Wouldn't she? 

No. 

Severus didn't miss when she saw James outside of class, the happy banter, the wistful glances when she was sure nobody was looking. They were both Gryffindor's, and so much like each other. 

They would suit each other. 

Lily deserved him more than he did. If Severus could give Lily the world he would, the red haired witch deserved the entire universe to him. She was so kind, always thoughtful and so so caring. 

It was Lily who pulled him out of his depressive trance, it was Lily who insisted on standing up for him against Petunia, and it was Lily's house when he spent most of his adolescent days playing in the rain, the leaves and the snow. If he could give Lily his entire being he would, but he knew the girl who not take it as she was too selfless to even ask a drop of kindness in return. 

Snape knew if Lily deserved one thing it was James Potter. So, despite the brewing storm in his head and heart, he stood up and smiled at the friend he'd had all his life, holding out his hand gently.

Lily took it, confused expression on her face as she did. "Sev?"

Severus did not reply, just giving her a hopeful smile and hoping she'd trust him.

A part of him wanted her to leave, to suddenly be overwhelmed, to even draw her hand back and ask too many questions. But she didn't. Lily was too kind to do that.

  
James had organised a study lesson with Severus earlier in the week. Library at noon today. He headed that way, Lily's hand in his. It was soft.

"Severus!" James waved him over as Severus pulled out a seat. Lily smiled at James as he smiled back. Severus didn't miss his best friends unconcealed blush. A touch of jealous rose but he swelled it down and smiled despite it.

Yes. They would get along good.

"I invited Lily to come along to our study session. I hope you don't mind?" Severus looked towards James, who shook his head. Severus let a small smile take over him as he saw the two chatting, Lily's blush now brighter than day and James appearing slightly.

Severus could not stop the feelings of regret inside him as he watched Lily and James talk until the end of the session. It was only when it was nightfall that they stopped, James glancing apologetically at Severus. 

"Sorry, we didn't get any work done, did we?" 

Severus smiled, a genuine smile. "It's okay, it was fun, which makes up for it. We should do this again sometime." 

James glanced towards Lily. "Yes. Let's." 

Lily was the happiest Severus had ever seen for the next few weeks, bubbling like living sunshine. All the regrets Severus might have had were torn away by just how happy she was. 

And as he looked at her, he knew. He'd made the right decision. 

By seventh year they were Head Boy and Girl together. 

After that they were married.

The celebration was beautiful of course, and Severus could almost forgot his former feelings for James with the cake and the smells and the lights and parties - something he usually hate but as she always did, Lily had managed to make it enjoyable.

He heard how Siruis had moved in with them from his own parents abusive house, and had half a mind to follow him.

However despite him and Jame's bond he wasn't sure if he could hold being in a house with him. Instead he'd brought a small muggle apartment nearby.

Him and Siruis had got on surprisingly decent. Over the years, the two had bonded and whenever Lily and James were out on a couples trip, Siruis would rock up at Severus's and they'd talk away, not quite as intelligent as him and Lily's talks and nowhere near as engaging as his and Jame's talks but it was something. Severus found comfort in the fact there was someone to talk to that he wasn't in a love triangle with.

He'd applied at Hogwarts a few years later, taking only one office item. A small photograph of him, Lily and James all together.

On the bad days he's dream of what could have been.

But on the good ones he'd remember Lily's smile when he introduced her to James, and remember her truly deserved happiness when they were together.


End file.
